Up for the challenge
“No one is special, and everyone is needed.”
It’s 6:15 a.m., and I’m frustratingly wide awake before my alarm with a thought rattling around in my head—a trend I’ve been noticing lately—that people, myself included sometimes, have grown to expect the world to cater to all of our sensitivities, as if everyone around us should adjust their behavior to suit our comfort or our needs. This has its place in certain situations, I think—it’s just that most of the time when we are articulating our needs, they are actually our preferences. But who’s to say which preference is more deserving of accommodation?
In an effort to create a more equitable world, we are actually creating a more divisive one. Once we started saying, “the right thing to do is to focus on those at the margins, because when we put them at the center, everyone benefits,” more and more people started identifying as being on the margins—countered by a whole host of others who are either rolling their eyes or getting nasty in response. In general, people like to be focused on and to feel unique. So now we’re in a place where a LOT more people are self-identifying as being on the autism spectrum or neurodivergent, for example, or as victims of trauma—or they are being labeled as such by their therapist who could be quick to give their clients what they came for: a diagnosis. Either way, the overuse of these words minimizes the experiences of people who do have autism, neurological differences, and trauma that interferes with their ability to function in our (hella flawed) society.
This rumination led me to something I heard once: when you solve all your kids' problems for them, you rob them of their self-esteem. It’s not just a parenting issue—I see this dynamic everywhere. In an effort to bring awareness to the value of “soft skills” or “feminine energies,” whatever you want to call them, the pendulum has swung all the way over from the days when we revered “masculine” traits. And let’s be honest, we've thrown the baby out with the bathwater (which, yes, is a terrible metaphor, and offensive to babies everywhere, but hey, maybe they just need to toughen up). We’ve become so self-involved, looking for what will make life easier for us, that we’ve atrophied our self-reliance and gumption.
Don’t get me wrong, voicing that the world wasn’t built for us isn’t bad—and that’s just it. We ought to be saying, “the world wasn’t built for us” and doing something about it, more than lamenting, “the world wasn’t built for me.” When introspection becomes all-consuming, when we forget that we are all connected (sorry, I’m a psychonaut, I had to say it), it can disconnect us from the grit, wisdom, and creativity needed to navigate this little life, both in solitude and in community.
So, where does that leave us? In trying to shape a more equitable society, we've inadvertently created a culture where many people are striving to fit themselves into categories of need—not necessarily because they require specific accommodations, but because being the focus feels validating. And while it's crucial to support those who genuinely need help, we risk diluting that support when the definition of need expands too broadly.
This isn't to dismiss the importance of equity—far from it. Designing for more equitable outcomes is literally my day job. But true equity isn’t about catering to every preference; it’s about addressing real, systemic barriers that prevent people from thriving. We need to foster resilience—the ability to navigate discomfort and challenges without always relying on external systems to smooth the path.
Because here’s the hard truth: systems of oppression would love nothing more than for you to believe that you're powerless without their fixes, without their products, and without constantly seeking comfort. Real equity, real liberation, comes not from focusing on how the world should change for us, but on how we can grow stronger within it.
Oh, you thought this was a mushroom blog?
Well, it is—but we’re just getting started. This first post is laying the groundwork for bigger conversations about the relationship between mushrooms and the human experience, especially when it comes to mental wellness and resilience. Next time, we’ll dive deeper into how convenience culture is impacting our well-being and explore how mushrooms can help us reconnect with our natural ability to handle life’s challenges.
In the meantime, ask yourself:
What do you consider to be personal needs that are actually preferences?
Where can you make space for more resilience and adaptability in your life?
